I hate love

Some times when you feel on track and one morning you open your eyes to realise you weren't ever on track, as a matter of fact, there was no track.
I remember a time when I sat with my friends in the church auditorium. They spoke about girl friend and love, something alien to me. I told them "good luck guys, for me, she and love don't exist." Then one of the guys said to the other "leave him, when it happens to him, he will be stunned."
Today I find my self here, I can't explain this feeling. It's like being betrayed and left to fall alone.
"Bartender, let the drinks be several on my table, make them beer, spirits and rum, then come sit with me. Don't worry about the bar, I'll buy the bar for tonight, just come sit with me. I love your dark hair, it looks just like hers, Delilah, no wonder Samson lost his power on her laps."
She said she loved me, it was always like a reminder, reason to see her, reason to dream, die for or die with her, which ever came first. But yesterday, she left, saying she never did love me... but I loved her. She packed her clothes from the wardrobe, removed them from the hangers and threw them in her box. I tried saying something, but it was like all the words I spoke, summed up into "I love you, don't go", a sentence I thought was the most touching in the world, fell at her feet, and she swept it out as she walked out the door. I walked to the door to watch her go, if she would at least look back... she didn't.
When night comes and I lay on my bed, the noise of my heart echoes through this empty mansion. But as it continues, I notice a pattern it takes, which becomes a familiar rhythm to my ears, and I fall asleep. I hate love, it's deadbeat.
"are you there?" I ask the bartender, but she's drunk and passed out by my side. They are all dead weight.