I have touched what does not concern me, curiosity has finally bitten me. At least, lesson learnt, it is time to burn bridges. I'll enter my alter and make confessions to my soul, ask forgiveness of my maker, I have wasted time.

What woman would show up next?

Spending 3 days, I have discovered

•  CORRECTION, PEOPLE HATE IT. 
• YOU CANNOT FIGURE OUT EVERYTHING. 
• DON'T PLAY WITH WHAT WON'T ADD ANYTHING SUBSTANTIAL TO YOUR LIFE. 
• And lastly, NO MATTER HOW CLOSE, NO ONE'S BUSINESS IS YOUR BUSINESS.

There is something added to these days that I can't actually tell, but I must do away with my curiosity with mere humans now.

"Directions from laxity
Perplexed by slavery
A means to escape
A lifestyle came.
I realized my stomach sagged 
My brain fagged
I belched
No one responded
Then I realized
My bands were loose.
Interest me in the old man's dish
Feelings I could imbibe
Shredding strings of peach
And only one fruit must abide"

Contrast is the movement to the extreme on both sides of the spectrum. Life is always move and like a river we join in this dance, knowing it or not.

The evil is when we miss our steps, we become out of rhythm and life loves rhythm. Pleasure is loved by most, but extended pleasure is a demon, latching onto us to suck blood, we need discomfort.

My stomach hates discomfort, the only thing that loves discomfort is my mind.

Thou shall have no other god besides me. 

The times are changing, this week seems cooler than the ones before. So says the only receiver on the other end.

Emotions can be controlled, but some cannot. Implosion is not the best idea, neither is explosion, but the finding of meaning, the conversion of reactions of popular actions to unpopular meanings to safer emotions .

I have tried to pray, but only tears come out. I think it's because my soul cries for the part of me that's set, it won't change.

I was reading Daniel chapter 10 and the angel told Daniel "...since you've been praying to YOUR GOD..." that said plenty. God speaks to each of us in diverse ways, ways that we find our selves a lot more able to understand.

I don't like the place too quiet, so I just play a film and let it be there in the background. 

Some people don't like it quiet at all, so they play loud music, they cannot watch films. They play it till the person in the next three blocks away can hear.

There are some people who don't like any thing like this, they cherish the silence. We all are different, and like languages, you cannot speak Yoruba to an hausa man and expect him to hear.

God is in us, but I must tell you that spirituality is way different from all these fancy words, sentences or phrases.

Where I get confused is when we start using our strength to measure our neighbours, or vice versa. There is surely going to be a rift and it would look like we all are spiritually different or that God has an identity disorder, meanwhile, it's our own selfishness, our need to control, instead of letting go.

Spirituality says WAIT! physicality says STRUGGLE.

spirituality says LET GO, physicality says HOLD ON TO.

The moment we begin to see spirituality as a river, the moment we loose rigidity and see the world as a playground, and nothing is forever.

What makes him worthy to say? Why him?

If there's a God which I know there is, and He speaks to this man, why not speak to me too.

I can't engage in gossips, He can't be found there.

Bottled up spirits, meddling at the bottom, your divine state is a disgrace to the heavens, your guilt, the ascertion of your death.

I am by my self longing for what you deviate, what you call outrageous. Truth is, I can't read this book forever with no teacher, I know everything must not end on this physical plane. 

Call the man of God, tell him, "let's go a fishing." If God told you, I don't want to know, that private chat was for you both, leave me out of it. I must converse and experience Him at any dimension he takes me.

Mother, sister, my father cares less. The transcendence is what I live for. Forward, earth must give or be done away with.

"You don't feel for me anymore. The way you look at me now is, is different..." 

Am I ashamed? No! 

I had the privilege sticking my hand in the cookie jar, but the cookie won't follow. It has happened not once, not twice not trice. The fruit just won't drop.

I think it's commitment, I think it's God, destiny and I don't want to know what would happen if I poke at this fruit and it falls.

But something bugs me, why this one? I know the water is great and fantastic, infact I have never met anyone, but once the water flowed, it broke through the door and everything followed, the fruit fell into my hand effortlessly, I swam and didn't drown. God didn't stop it. 

I have questions about this, what connects me to this water, it won't let me drown?

And I hate this question, but "who am I? Who is Omi?" 

Well I may not believe in humans, but I believe in life, I don't know the connection, but I know it exists. 

Burn down the chapel, what's in it's foundation?

How can I take control? I wish I could look at the world from the birds eye point of view, you know like watching a soccer match on a TV, you see everything, I personally don't care about predicting moves, but it's just hilarious, these humans.

I'm not old at all, and I'm human (not sure), but I'll say, humans are funny creatures. Thrown on earth, some spend their whole lives trying to find out who threw them here, some try to enslave other humans, others fall in love with things they met here (I can't blame them, nothing is really real, not our existence or death) so make something off your fickle existence.

So back to earlier. I'm a filmmaker, what I mean is I study film and major in more than 4 parts of filmmaking, and I love it, but it can be stressful, especially when you have deadlines to meet up and they are all close. When you're almost done with the last, one more comes in.

What I'm kicking at is, if there is one thing humans have in common is that they are humans. Humans feel and can be influenced. The feeling that they matter is in itself another weakness on it's own. How can I make it work for me, how can I gain a hold of the puppets strings???

I believe there's a possibility to change this mind of survival to the mind that sees everything as they are. EVERYTHING THAT IS NOT ME WAS MADE FOR ME.