ACRONYMS 

Standing at the top of the bus, I can see a sea, sea of heads, randomly moving like dust particles thrown from a trash pan to the air. 

Are these souls? are these people real? I throw, immediately they leave my sight, they disappear into thin air. I believe since I'm the main character in this fucking big cinema, these are extras to make me feel I am not alone, they are all virtual, not real, I can't grasp a begining, a middle or an end to them. Come to think of it, I can't even grasp an end for myself.

From the woman selling tomatoes by the road side with the baby on her back, who is crying and his nose drooling, to the conductor screaming at the top of his voice, calling out for more extras to entre his bus, all seem fake. I wonder what Angel is the casting director, because I could do a pretty good job about the face of this lady with black jeans and a crop top, fine skin, beautiful body, lovely dimensions, but disastrous on the face. It pains me, but hey, she's not real either. 

I believe I'll wake up one day from this, wake into peace, wake into... Nirvana.

To cap it up, I am the only real thing I know of, and the world, water, space, humans, all elements for my purpose.

Mirage on the road. Two hands, two legs, they talk, like me... Who created this? How dare you put me with these creatures. No beginning, middle or ending. It's just a show, a big show I am made to walk in.

Whose who, where's where, yet, someone is up there, laughing at my pain.

I thought death would be in my cup, I thought dark Sarah would sing forever.

I believed, I loved and trusted, but as his words fell from his mouth, even truth wore the cloak of deceit.

This toilet has begun to stink…

Did I murder her mother?

Did I lie to his sister?

My mouth is watery, please fetch me some water to quench this thirst.

I beg of you MAAMI water, talk to me, come down from thy lofty highness, talk to me a lowly being, your waters are getting dry.  Let the words of your lips be inclined with my blood, let the waves of the sea sing as we dance and theses mortals watch.

Or allow me to step off this pedestal, I’ll excuse myself  from thy shrine… I need peace, peace of mind.

Christ! Must this too have an end?

What is it I cannot see? Show me.

What is it I do not know? Teach me.

I will lay my head to the bed, what will he say to me?

Trust is like a house made of cards, when a piece is off,

you must rebuild the whole or walk away…

OR WALK AWAY!!!

Where we left

The eunuchs look on the kings’ daughter, my sister. they fantasized, but I wondered if they felt anything. I dream about things I have thought, I dream about space, its emptiness or the freedom it brings. These days, my emotions fleet off my will, the gathering of the whole seems unconvincing.

I am done replying and sending these texts, may the scroll roll off the table into the fire, and burn like spirits leaving her body.

Associate now thyself with thy maker, relive the dream, where do these feelings come from, how do these doubts play out before my eyes.

I have left the maze of the Minotaur with the big belly and confusing structure. The nightmare finally ends. Am i now stronger?

Control the taste, case the feeling, ponder the path, Ian!

My craft, it’s not about what or how I play, it’s about how I feel about what I play… These feelings are not permanent, unstable as water they are. How can I make water still, quench the waves of this sea? I need it, I need to...

While we sat

This is where we sat, blind bats staring into the light. Where am i?

Follow the stream, begin the dream, don’t wake me, this is real. Fleeting shadows, fading darkness, I am alive, death dead… forever. But this is my prayer, that my eyes be shut from this world, my body be above your ordinances.

As I lay to sleep, the thoughts of the boring day settles in my mind, thinking about what I did wrongly and what could be amended probably tomorrow.

As I lay looking to the roof, waiting for sleep to consider covering me up. I can feel it, the inertia of the drabness of time.

I composed a speech, how it’s going to fall at her feet, ideas grow faint… lord help me.

Is it the money? Is it convenience? Is it the blood flowing through my veins or the Divine’s own will?

I have burnt the Ferrari just because I could. I have seen things, not just the things I thought to, but the things she wanted to. Is she beautiful? Pray the good Lord keep her. How else can a man feel at home if not by his own smile or better yet hers.

Perspective garnishes the sin or fizzles away its intensity. the blood of the lamb on my lintel. Is it sin, is it not? I have no idea, but I soak my garri with sugar and salt, be it to every man as he deems fit. 

I could study my reflection in the water, these eyes, this face, my teeth, these smile marks are constant. I have started having beards accompanied with this mustache. My nose, the good Lord has his plans.

I remember when I was older, I was royalty, I was a king. I had my queen, I am not sure of the children, but my great grandfather said I took the kingdom as my family and only God, my queen, my soul quest I differentiated from the kingdom. But of my death, he said no one knew how, it was like I was taken up by the wind into another dimension, the reason the affinity for GREY. He said the only royalty who wore grey because all other colors fade.

 “When I was older I saw you, I think I saw you smile.”

Don’t go! Let the earth feel your energy flow through my heart. I am trying to get home, light my path.

There she is, my maami water, filling up every pore of sense in me. I went down to the river, awaken to the spirits. Here I am kneeling at your shrine, may the goddess acknowledge my presence.

“Don’t go! Let the earth feel your energy

 flow through my heart. I am trying 

to get home, light my path.”

Here she comes with eyes that glitter, voice like water, smile with shivers and spirit like beautiful thunder. It’s just a matter of time, these waters would find how to flow… Beautiful singing lightning.

“Don’t go! Let the earth feel your energy

 flow through my heart. I am trying 

to get home, light my path.”

Here we are in this restless ocean dancing…. Dancing…. Let’s keep dancing, forever till we can’t stop. Let’s dance to the waves, let’s dance on these waves.

Don’t go!